


i like me better when i'm with you

by fancyachatup



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Sports, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nervous Magnus Bane, Party Games
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-17 08:45:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15457587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fancyachatup/pseuds/fancyachatup
Summary: College freshman Magnus Bane has been in love with Alec Lightwood since their sophomore year of high school.With Alec finally living outside of his parents' influence,  Magnus dares to hope for a future in which they can be more than friends.





	1. Magnus' POV

**Author's Note:**

> this was written at 1 AM and barely edited  
> don't judge my too harshly, thx
> 
> title is from "I Like Me Better" by Lauv

Moving is...intimidating to say the least. It is packing up his entire life, abandoning his closest friends, and moving to the opposite end of the country, where he will reside for the foreseeable future. It's like starting a whole new life, taking on a brand new identity, and it's a heady feeling. So, he sits there, next to Alexander Lightwood on their five hour flight to California, and dares to dream of a future where this type of cuddling takes place between lovers, not just friends.

Alec’s head abruptly knocks into his shoulder as the plane encountered turbulents, and Magnus slumps grumpily in his uncomfortable seat, trying to ignore the fact that the flight attendants’ “please stay where you are” announcement accompanying the "fasten seatbelt" sign feels like a message from the universe.

——   
  
God he’s gorgeous. It’s the first thought that Magnus Bane ever had about Alec Lightwood, and here they are, three years later, and it’s all that runs through his mind as he and Alec put the final touches on their shared dorm room.    
  
It had been a taxing and sweaty four hours, with only the two of them lugging furniture, suitcases, and sports equipment up the stairs. Not to mention the books (Alec’s...obviously), various dry cleaning bags (Magnus’ of course), andthe basic necessities, but at last they finally had the room the way they wanted it.    
  
Alec’s slightly lofted bed is closest to the door. In this prime location—Alec’s words, not his—he is able to reach the thermostat and light switch, all from the comfort of his nearlytoosmall bed (that he looks adorable in). Magnus, however, is situated in the opposite corner closest to the window, within perfect distance of the blinds, so that he can adjust the light in accordance with his mood swings—again, Alec’s words, not his.   
  
Although it would have been nice to have Alec’s younger siblings see them off, Magnus is almost glad that Jace and Isabelle had had to cancel on them to babysit Max. As per usual, Maryse and Robert Lightwood were jet-setting across the world and expanding their business empire. They had decided last minute to extend their stay in Japan, causing Jace and Isabelle to pick Max up from boarding school themselves.    
  
While it wouldn’t have been much of an issue if they were still in New York, securing a flight to the West coast in such a short amount of time wasn’t easy, even for the youngest Lightwoods, and so Alec and Magnus were left to their own devices on Stanford’s move-in day.

Magnus and Alec had shocked everyone, especially Alec’s parents, when they had announced that not only had they both gotten into Stanford, they were both going to attend. Everyone that knew them back in New York expected them to go to NYU, as that’s where Alec’s parents had graduated from. Hell, even Magnus had expected that Alec would end up there. But for once in his life, Alec had (finally) gone against his parents’ wishes, opting to enroll at Stanford where both he and Magnus had gotten a full ride due to their abilities and athleticism.    
  
Magnus has been playing soccer since he was practically in diapers while Alec was arguably the best basketball player in New York. It was how they met, actually. Alec’s younger brother Jace had tried out for varsity soccer his freshman year, and to everyone’s surprise, he actually made it, joining Magnus on the varsity team.    
  
Originally, Magnus wasn’t too thrilled about Jace beating his record for youngest varsity player. Once he saw how talented Jace was, however, he decided to grow up and take this as an opportunity to learn from the blond. It didn’t hurt that Jace’s nice (and very attractive) brother Alec came to every one of Jace’s (and in turn, Magnus’) games. One thing led to another and eventually Alec was there at every game to support both Jace and Magnus. In fact, the first time Magnus scored a winning goal, Alec had insisted they go on a late night ice cream run to celebrate. It was one of Magnus’ most treasured memories, and also the night they became friends. And it’s been that way ever since.    
  
And now, here they are, at Stanford of all places, and Magnus can’t help but feel a bit bitter. A part of him, the selfish part that is very much in love with his best friend, hopes that Alec chose Stanford because he couldn’t bare to part from Magnus. He hopes that, on some level, even if it were merely subconsciously, Alec maybe cares for Magnus as more than a friend. The rational part of Magnus, however, recognizes that he and Alec are simply best friends, and that Stanford has more to offer Alec than NYU. Alec is here for the athletic and academic reputation; having Magnus attending the same school is merely a bonus.    
  
Of course, he’s not complaining about that, not when he has a beautiful and glistening roommate standing next to him. To put it bluntly, Alec is a masterpiece of muscle, and his basketball conditioning training is no joke. While they admire their hard work, Magnus admiring Alec more than anything else,  Alec wipes the sweat off his face with the hem of his top. Magnus, though feeling guilty for checking out his oblivious best friend, is very appreciative of the view.    
  
“See? That wasn’t so bad,” Alec says with an eyebrow raised, mocking Magnus’ earlier protests that move in would be too difficult all by themselves.    
  
“Tell that to the mascara running down my face,” Magnus pouted, knowing his makeup was ruined from all of the sweating he’s done today. Magnus may love sports, but he also loves fashion and makeup. Fuck anyone who thinks the two are mutually exclusive.   
  
“Okay, you’re right. It wasn’t as easy as I thought it’d be,” Alec says as he flops down on his bed, groaning as his face hits the mattress. “I’m going to sleep now. I’m exhausted.”    
  
“What? No!” Magnus exclaims. “You can’t go to sleep! We’ve got a party to get ready for, Alexander.”   
  
Alec’s answering groan of displeasure is muffled by the bed and Magnus takes that as confirmation that they will indeed be partying tonight.    
  
—   
  
“I still can’t believe you’re dragging us all the way across campus to go to some lame frat party,” Alec grumbles as he and Magnus use the crosswalk, pulling him by his hand (and steadfastly ignoring the little butterflies said hand-holding causes).   
  
Magnus tuts at him, “Alec, it’s the first party of the school year, and if we want to get to know anyone other than buff jocks, we need to be there tonight.” They’re approaching the porch of a run down house overflowing with people and god-awful music, and Magnus feels his excitement grow.    
  
“I don’t need anyone but you,” Alec says, oblivious to the heart palpitations his words cause Magnus.    
  
“That may be true, but why pass up free alcohol and food?” Magnus jokes lightly    
  
“I suppose,” Alec mumbles, and Magnus tries not to feel disheartened as Alec relinquishes his grip on Magnus’ hand in order to enter the party.    
  
Maybe free alcohol is just what he needs to survive tonight.    
  
—   
  
Magnus is (unfortunately) far from being drunk, but the same can’t be said for Alec. Back in highschool, Alec earned the nickname “Alec Lightweight” since he’s gets tipsy so easily. He is, of course, a cuddly drunk, however, and for this reason Magnus doesn’t mind the fact that Alec is yet again resting his head on Magnus’ shoulder. With a tipsy Alec leaning on him, they both make up part of a large circle of college students playing Paranoia. It’s his first time playing, and he understands the general premise of the game, but Alec looks adorably confused, so Magnus takes it upon himself to explain it...again.    
  
“So let’s say you ask me a question,” Magnus says, leaning over (more than strictly necessary) and whispering into Alec’s ear.

  
“You’d...very quietly...ask a question. Like which person do you think is secretly in the witness protection program. And then I would announce out loud that I think it’s that girl,” Magnus finishes, gesturing to a blond guy whose name is he doesn’t know. Alec purses his lips before giving a sharp nod, taking another swing of his beer.    
  
“And then we’ll flip a coin,” Magnus continues, smiling at the look of pure concentration of Alec’s face. “If it’s heads, you get to tell everyone what the question is and most likely embarrass whoever answered it. If it’s tails though, the question is never revealed to the group,” he finishes brightly.    
  
“That makes sense,” Alec says as he nods, mulling the instructions over in his head. Their intimate bubble is burst when a girl to the right of Alec, Maia, announces that it’s finally their turn.   
  
“Alright,” she says as she taps her long nails against her beer bottle, “I’ve got a good one.” She pulls Alec closer to her, and he reluctantly lifts his head up from Magnus’ shoulder, slowly moving toward her.    
  
Magnus feigns disinterest as Maia proceeds to whisper her question to Alec, and he pretends to ignore the blush gracing his friend’s face. Finally, Maia leans back, allowing Alec to return to his half-slumped position on Magnus.    
  
“Heidi,” Alec announces to the group, flashing an awkward smile at the beaming girl across from them. Magnus can feel his lungs deflate, and he ignores the hurt seeping into his veins, ridiculing himself for reacting so poorly without even knowing the question. 

  
Although...he’s not sure if he could handle knowing the question at this point. He’s too emotionally invested in his best friend. Besides, it’s not like Magnus has any right to be upset, he has no claim over Alec.   
  
The circle waits with bated breath as Alec tosses the quarter Maia gave him, and Magnus breathes a sigh of relief when it lands on tails. The rest of the partygoers, however, seem to find it incredibly interesting that it’s the fourth time in a row the coin landed on tails. He doesn’t give a shit as long as he doesn’t have to hear the (likely dirty) question.

  
“Mind if I join in?” A voice calls from behind him, startling him slightly. He turns around to find a beautiful dark skinned woman that he vaguely recognizes from orientation last week.    
  
“Sure! The more the merrier right?” Alec replies, and before Magnus can even register what is happening, the woman is squeezing in between Alec and Magnus, a red solo cup in hand. He’s annoyed he can no longer sit next to Alec, especially since he knows what a cuddly drunk he is, but he doesn’t want to cause a scene, so he smiles at her and just takes a sip of his beer.

  
As Alec proceeds to ask the girl a question, Magnus finds himself wondering if her interruption actually worked out in his favor. If Alec had asked any kind of romantic or sexual question, Magnus would’ve had to lie about his answer because there is no way in hell he would be able to tell Alec to his face that he had a major crush on him.    
  
Maybe this is the best possible outcome.    
  
By the time his internal ramblings are over, Catarina has already answered Alec’s question and flipped the coin, which landed on tails yet again. Before he knows it, Catarina is leaning over to him with a smirk on her face.   
  
“Who in the room are you most attracted to?” She whispers, oblivious to his internal dilemma. He mulls his answer over, debating between telling the truth or forming a believable lie. There are plenty of attractive people sitting in the circle, and it’d be easy to just say one their names.   
  
But he doesn’t.    
  
“Alec” he states, hopeful that the question won’t be revealed. Only two questions had been revealed during the span of the entire game, and Magnus is confident that the “tails trend” will continue. That being said, his heart does speed up when Catarina hands him the quarter. He quickly downs the rest of his drink, liquid courage and all that, and proceeds to toss the coin in the air.    
  
It’s cliche, but it feels like it spins for hours, and hearing it clank on the hardwood floor seems to echo in his head. He slowly leans forward, and nearly loses his shit, because for the first time in six fucking rounds, the quarter has landed heads up. His heart is racing and his hands are clammy and this cannot be happening.

Before Catarina can even open her mouth, he bolts   
  



	2. Alec's POV

“I’ve got a good one,” Maia said. Alec reluctantly gets off from his comfy spot on Magnus’ shoulder as the girl—Maia, he reminded himself—pulls him closer.

“Who is most likely to be a psychopath?” Maia whispers, smirking at Alec’s horrified expression. He doesn’t know these people very well and the whole point of going to the damn party was to be social and expand his social circle outside of smelly sports players. At least that’s what Izzy has told him when he’d called her panicking about going partying with Magnus.

She’s known about Alec’s crush on Magnus for years. It had started Alec’s freshman year, when Izzy’s and Jace had begged him to take them along to the first soccer game of his high school’s athletic year. He’d complied, obviously, always having had a soft spot for his siblings.

And he’s so glad he did.

It was there that he first saw Magnus. He was breathtaking on the field, easily maneuvering around the opposing team and scoring goal after goal. Alec was completely mesmerized by him, and he got teased mercilessly by his siblings for the rest of the night for making “heart eyes” at a certain boy on the varsity soccer team.

Magnus turned out to be some sort of soccer prodigy, and Alec frequently found himself wishing he was good at soccer rather than basketball, because then he’d actually have an excuse to get talk to Magnus. The day Jace made the varsity soccer team was the happiest day of Alec’s life. Not only was he ridiculously proud of his brother, he also had a newfound reason to be near Magnus.

And now...here they are, years later, and Alec is still hopelessly in love with his best friend. He’s never told him, of course. One, his parents would never tolerate him being gay, and two, he couldn’t risk their friendship like that. He liked having Magnus in his life, and if his feelings fucked that up, he’d never forgive himself.

That being said, he doesn’t hesitate to take every opportunity he has to be near Magnus.

It’s why he followed him to Stanford.

It’s why he followed him to some stupid college party.

It’s also why he acts slightly more drunk than he actually is, just so that he can snuggle up to Magnus without rousing suspicion.

“Alec!” Maia whispers harshly in his ear. “Dude, c’mon just pick someone,” she say before leaning back.

Oh, right. The game.

He quickly glances around the circle, and locks eyes with a blonde girl who has been staring at him all night.

“Heidi,” he announces to the circle, inwardly cringing when she beams at him. It’d really suck if the question has to be revealed and she finds out just why he said her name. 

—

It’s difficult to pretend he’s not interested in whatever Catarina is asking Magnus, so he busies himself by tracing the rim of his beer bottle as he attempts to hear her question over the music of the party. He’s unsuccessful, of course, but he’s glad for the distraction, however small it may be.

“Alec,” Magnus says, before taking a swig of his beer.

It takes a lot of will power, but he manages not to whip his head in Magnus’ direction. Instead he looks up very casually (at least, he hope it looks casual) and glances at Magnus as he tosses the quarter in the air.

It lands on heads and the whole room seems to go silent. Alec vaguely hears a stats major muttering something about statistical probabilities, but his attention is on his best friend and his abrupt departure out of the room. Confused, Alec sets his bottle down, turning to Catarina, hoping for an explanation.

“The question was “Who in the room are you most attracted to?”” She says unceremoniously, as if that explains everything.

“What?” Alec says, too stunned to form a better response.

She rolls her eyes, “I said that the question-“

Alec cuts her off, “No, I heard what you said. I just...” he trials off, ignoring the matching looks of confusion on both Catarina and Maia’s faces. “Actually, I have to go too,” he says, standing up quickly and ignoring the shouts of concern from a few people in the circle.

—

He finds Magnus leaning against a large oak tree in the front lawn. The way his arms are wrapped around himself coupled with his shaking leg is a sign that not only is Magnus going to be defensive when Alec approaches him, he’s also actually nervous. Alec briefly wonders if it’s weird that he can read Magnus’ body language so well, but finds that he doesn’t really care. Sighing, he makes his way over to the tree, plopping down so close to Magnus that their arms touch.

“Hey,” Alec says quietly, gently bumping their shoulders together. As the seconds tick by, Alec realizes that Magnus isn’t going to respond, and he scrambles to think of something to say.

“I’m gay,” he blurts out, fighting the urge to slap a hand over his mouth. He can feel Magnus’ eyes on him, but he doesn’t dare look, too afraid of what he’ll see in them.

Magnus is the kind of person to empathizes with someone so intensely that he’d ignore his own feelings just to comfort those around him. He’s the kind of person to cover up emotions with jokes and feigned indifference, and Alec doesn’t want that. He doesn’t want their relationship to turn into that. 

So, he’s afraid. Afraid of Magnus’ selflessness and how he has zero regard for his own wellbeing. Afraid that he’ll never learn the real reason Magnus ran out of the party. Afraid that their dynamic will change because Magnus will reassure Alec that he accepts him.

And Alec knows he does. That’s not the issue. No, the issue is how Magnus will handle it. Alec doesn’t want a congratulatory speech about how brave he is or some sort of joke about bonding over hot guys to lighten to the mood. Truth be told, the only hot guy Alec wants to talk about is Magnus himself.

So he sits and he waits and he prepares for the end of their friendship, not because it will end completely, but because it will morph into something unrecognizable.

“I love you,” Magnus croaks out, voice hoarse in a way that can only come from holding back tears.

“Magnus, no,” Alec says, shaking his head in frustration. “I don’t want a damn speech about accepting myself and how you accept me. That’s not why I told you, I--“ he cuts himself off abruptly as Magnus’ hands land on either side of his face, turning his head so that they’re now eye to eye.

 “Alec, listen very carefully. I love you. I’m in love with you, and if I’m being honest, I have been for a while,” Magnus says slowly, eyes locked with Alec’s.

“I don’t understand…” Alec trails off. He’s confused and his heart is beating hard enough that he’s sure Magnus can hear it, but he can’t process anything.

Magnus loves him?

Letting out a wet chuckle, Magnus lets go of Alec’s face, wiping a few stray tears off his face.

“I can’t believe I just told you that, after all these years,” Magnus mumbles, head tilted back toward the sky to avoid Alec’s stare. He’s fairly certain he’s gaping like a fish but he’s paralyzed by the realization that Magnus just confessed his love for Alec.

A hysterical laugh builds and is spilling out of Alec’s mouth before he can stop it. He registers Magnus’ pained look and quickly stifles any remaining giggles, scolding himself for laughing in his best friend’s face after confessing something so personal. He sighs, running a hand through his hair as he builds up the courage to tell Magnus exactly how he feels.

“I’m sorry,” Alec says, reaching for Magnus’ hand, smiling slightly when Magnus let’s him pull it closer. He rests their hands on his knee, and turns to face him once again.

“I wasn’t laughing at you, or your feelings for that matter. I was just thinking about all times I wished I could have been brave enough to tell you I love you, and how much time and energy I wasted thinking you’d never feel the same way,” Alec explains, twirling with one of the many silver rings on Magnus’ hand.

“You’re kidding me,” Magnus deadpans, his voice cracking as he looks at Alec in disbelief.

“Nope, I’m absolutely serious,” Alec confesses, a smile blooming on his face to match the one that Magnus is now sporting.

“So I love you and you love me?”

“Yeah. It’s just like Barney the Dinosaur says.”

“Alec,” Magnus chastises lightly, the smile on his face giving away his amusement. “I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you.”

“And I’m trying to find a way to ask for a kiss without seeming too desperate,” Alec replies cheekily.

Magnus grins, leaning forward until their foreheads touch. They’re close enough that Alec can make out each individual eyelash of Magnus’ and Alec can’t believe the moment he has wished for for practically his whole life is actually happening.

“You really love me?” Magnus murmurs, his lips barely brushing against Alec’s. 

“I really love you,” Alec responds, pressing a kiss onto Magnus’ waiting lips.

-

Months later, Alec is cheering from the sidelines, proudly sporting a Stanford Jersey with “BANE 17” on the back, thinking that maybe change wasn’t such a bad thing after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean its not my best work but oh well. sincerely appreciate whoever made it this far.
> 
> kudos are appreciated. Comments are worshipped. Bookmarks are smiled upon.
> 
> thanks for reading x


End file.
